Slayers:  A Christmas Special

Xellos:  Christmas?
Viv:  Yep.
Xellos:  Hmmm. . . .isn't that where you buy you're 
'loved ones' gifts and send people cards?
Phibrizio:  And you don't even know half of the 
people you send cards to anymore?
Zelas:  Don't you also hang little ornaments on pine 
trees?  And don't you put the tree in your living 
room?
Deep Sea:  Don't you put the presents under the 
tree?
Dynast:  I think you have to put little blinking lights 
on your house so strangers can drive by and stare.
Gaav:  And you have to stand in line in stores for 
hours.
*Viv sighs and shakes her head*
Val:  That's not all Christmas is about.  Sure, you 
do those things, but you also are supposed to be 
with family and friends and have a good time.
Xellos:  And get as many things as you can without 
giving others anything?
Viv:  NO!!!  You're supposed to get into the spirit 
of Christmas and feel happy because you gave 
others things, and not care about the fact that they 
didn't give you anything back!
Dynast:  Well that's lousy!
Gaav:  Yeah.  If I'm going to spend my money on 
someone, they're spending money on me in return!
*Phibrizio, Zelas, Deep Sea, and Xellos nod in 
agreement*
Viv: Fine.  Be that way. *crosses her arms over her 
chest*  I'm still going to write this fic, and I'm 
going to get all of you into the Christmas spirit if it 
kills me!
Val:  What would you like on you tombstone?
Xellos:  Pepperoni and cheese.
*everyone stares at him*
Xellos:  What?
Viv:  Sometimes I wonder why I even bother!
Val:  Because they're your friends.
Viv:  Did you have to remind me?
The Lords and Xellos:  HEY!!!!!!


	It had been a normal enough Saturday - after 
getting up at nine to watch Pokémon, the Lords 
and most everyone else had gone to sleep.  When 
Phibrizio woke up 'for real' at noon, he heard odd 
sounds coming from the living room.
	" Zaha, you're tall!  You put the star on!," he 
heard Viv's voice demand.
	" Why can't Gateau do it!  I'm watching 
TV," a deep male voice Phibrizio didn't recognize 
said.
	" Gateau is outside with all the other males 
that are awake putting the outside decorations up!," 
Lina's voice said, " You *should* be outside too, 
you know, so at least put the star on the tree!"
	" Gateau," Phibrizio mumbled as he got 
up, " The Sorcerer Hunters are here then."
	" I already put that dumb wreath on the 
door!," the male voice complained.
	" Oh, that was a big job, you must be 
exhausted!  How dare we try and get you to put the 
star on the tree!," Viv's voice said sarcastically.
	" Alright!  I'll put the star up!"
	" Wreath?  Star?  Decorations?  What is 
going on?," Phibrizio wondered as he headed out 
into the living room.  The first thing Phibrizio saw 
was a tall man putting a star at the top of a pine 
tree.  Lina was on a step stool hanging some lights 
around the windows, and Viv was putting some 
figurines on the mantel.
	" Why is there a tree in the living room?," 
Dynast asked as he joined Phibrizio in the hall.
	Phibrizio shrugged, " Hell if I know."
	" Good!," Viv said when she saw Phibrizio 
and Dynast, " Get dressed and go help the other 
guys outside.  They're trying to put lights on the 
roof and-"
	" Why is there a tree in the living room?," 
Dynast asked again.
	" And whose the tall guy watching TV?," 
Phibrizio added.  Viv looked behind her and saw 
the star was on the tree, and that Zaha was back on 
the couch, channel surfing.
	" Oh, that's Zaha Torte.  He got here this 
morning with the Sorcerer Hunters," Viv said, " As 
for the tree, it's Christmas you guys!"
	" Oh," the two Mazoku Lords said.
	" Uh, Viv, I kinda burnt the cookies," 
Chocolate said as she stuck her head out from the 
kitchen.
	" Burnt!?!  They're black, Chocolate!  
They're beyond burnt, they're ashes!  You killed 
them!," Amelia's voice howled from the kitchen.
	" I said I'm sorry!!!!," Chocolate wailed.
	" Just make some more," Viv said as she 
went over and patted Chocolate's shoulder.
	" Viv!," Valgarv yelled as he came inside, " 
Gourry fell off the roof, can we borrow Silpheil?"
	" She's in the kitchen," Viv said.
	As if on cue, Silpheil appeared in the 
doorway, a plate of perfectly baked cookies was in 
her hand.  " Anyone want some cookies?," she 
asked.
	" I'll take them!," Zaha yelled from the 
couch.
	" It's not fair!," Chocolate sniffled.
	" We could use all three of you guys 
outside, you know," Val told Zaha, Phibrizio and 
Dynast, " Tell Gaav-sama to come out when he 
wakes up.  Silpheil, Gourry fell off the roof-we 
kind of need your help."
	" Gourry-sama's hurt!," Silpheil wailed and 
ran outside, throwing the plate of cookies into the 
air.  Zaha Torte caught them, then returned to 
watching TV.
	" Viv, you're under the mistletoe!!!," 
Chocolate giggled.
" So?," Phibrizio asked as he walked over to Viv.
	" Now you're under it too, Phibrizio, you 
have to kiss her!," Chocolate said.
	" Kiss?," Phibrizio asked and he turned 
bright red.
	" Oh!  Gaav!  Deep Sea!  Zelas!  Get out 
here!," Dynast yelled, " Phibrizio and Viv are 
gonna kiss!"
	The door to front yard was still open and 
everyone outside heard Dynast yell, as did 
everyone in the house.  In five seconds, everyone 
in that was at Viv's was in the living room, starting 
at Viv and Phibrizio.
	" Uh," Viv stammered as she turned bright 
red.
	" Come on!," Tira giggled.
	" K-kiss?," Phibrizio mumbled incoherently.
	" That's the idea, Hellbrat," Gaav snorted.  
Phibrizio looked around.  EVERYONE was 
there not only did he have to kiss Viv, he was 
also standing their in his boxers.  If he chickened 
out, the other Lords would never let him live it 
down.
	" Gee, I think I smell something burning in 
the kitchen," Viv lied through her teeth and tried 
to walk off, only to get pulled back by her brother.
	" It's tradition, Viv," Val smiled.
	" Traitor!," Viv hissed at him, " I'll get you 
for this!"
	" I think Phibrizio's scared," Zelas teased.
	" That was the last straw!," Phibrizio thought 
to himself as he glared at Zelas.  Then he turned to 
Viv and kissed her on the lips, " There," he said, " 
Now I'm going to go get dressed, and I'm not 
going outside."
	Viv, on the other hand, fainted.
	" Yare, yare!," Xellos giggled, " I get to 
tease her even more now!"
	" Do they like each other or something," 
Zaha asked.
	" Or something," Xellos smiled, " They're 
both in denial."
	" We do not like each other, fruitcake, and 
we aren't dating," Phibrizio said as he came back 
into the living room, in his normal outfit.
	" What happened?," Viv asked as she sat 
up.
	" Phibrizio kissed you, and then you 
fainted," Val smiled down at his little sister.
	" Anyway," Viv said as she stood up, " 
We're going to the mall in a half an hour to buy 
gifts.  Due to some really strange circumstances, 
we all got five hundred bucks from L-Sama to 
blow on Christmas gifts."
	" So each of us gets five hundred dollars!," 
Lina asked, drool already beginning to run down 
her chin.
	" To use on Christmas presents only," Viv 
said as she pulled out a list, " Is everyone here?"
	" Better call 'roll' just in case," Marron said.
	" Okay," Viv nodded, " Let's see, Phibrizio, 
Gaav, Dynast, Deep Sea, Zelas, Val, Lina, Gourry, 
Amelia, Zel, Silpehil, Xellos, Martina, Zangulus, 
Rezo, Filia, Naga, Marron, Carrot, Tira, Chocolate, 
Gateau, Zaha Torte and myself.  I think that's 
everyone."
	" Yep," Amelia nodded, " So there are 
twenty four people here, and we have to buy gifts 
for twenty three?"
	" Yeah.  I persuaded L-Sama to give five 
hundred dollars to everyone so that should be 
plenty," Viv said.
	" How did you get 11,500 dollars from L-
Sama?," Zel asked.
	" Sore wa himitsu desu!," Viv laughed, " 
Now, is everyone going to the mall?"
	" I guess we have too, I mean, how are we 
going to buy presents here?," Gateau asked.
	" Okay.  We'll have to take four cars, and 
the van seats seven whose going with who?," 
Valgarv asked.
	" I'm driving the van!," Viv said, " and since 
I have a feeling the Lords and Zaha are going to 
cause trouble, their coming with me."
	" Hey!," the Lords and Zaha all yelled.
	" Okay.  I can drive-," Carrot started.
	" I'm appointing drivers thank you very 
much!  Last time I let you drive you almost got us 
killed," Viv said.  Carrot's shoulders dropped, but 
he didn't complain he knew better.  Viv smiled 
and said, " Okay, Marron, you drive and take the 
Sorcerer Hunters with you.  Val, you drive and take 
Gourry, Lina, and Filia.  Zel, you drive and take 
Amelia, Martina and Zangulus.  Rezo, I know 
you're vision is fine-"
	" Damn it.  I was hoping you'd forget I got 
cured," Rezo sighed.
	" Anyway, you drive and take Xellos, Naga, 
and Silpheil," Viv said.
	" Money would be nice," Lina said.  Viv 
sighed and handed out money.  Then she handed 
out a list to everyone with everyone's names on it.
	" Cross out your own name, and write what 
you got everyone else next to their name so you 
can keep track of it.  We'll meet back up at the mall 
and split up into groups their, alright?," Viv said as 
she headed outside.
	" She likes being in control, doesn't she?," 
Zaha asked.
	" Well, it is her house, and with us running 
around, who can really blame her?," Rezo asked.  
Everyone else rolled their eyes and headed outside 
too.

At the mall . . . 

	" Okay, we'll meet back here at say, five and 
head home," Viv said.
	" Are we all on our own, or what?," Rezo 
asked.
	" I suppose it's up to you if you want to 
shop with other people," Viv shrugged.
	" Ne, I think I'll go with you, Viv-kun," 
Xellos smiled.
	" I'll come with you too," Phibrizio said.
	" Let's go then," Viv said as the trio walked 
off.  The others spilt into groups or headed out on 
their own, depending on the situation.

Soon . . .

	" I have no clue what to get Viv," Val 
sighed.  He, Gaav, and Zaha Torte had run into 
each other in a shop that sold antique weapons, 
and had ended up staying together.
	" If all else fails, stick a bow on Phibrizio 
and give him to her," Gaav snickered.
	" Girls like cute things don't they?  So just 
find her something cute," Zaha shrugged, " I 
haven't the faintest idea what to get anyone."
	" It would be stupid to get Chocolate 
chocolate wouldn't it?," Gaav asked.
	" Stupid, but funny as hell," Valgarv said.  
Gaav grinned and crossed Chocolate off his list.

Meanwhile . . .

	" What should I get Darling?," Chocolate 
asked her three shopping companions; Tira, 
Silpheil and Filia.
	" Maybe a shirt or something?," Filia 
shrugged, then she squealed, " OH!  Look at the 
pretty mug!  I wish I had one!!!!"
	" Look over there, Filia, they have some cute 
dragon figurines!," Tira said, and grabbed the mug 
while Filia was looking away, then she scurried off 
to pay for it before Filia turned back around.
	Filia was enchanted with the little dragon 
figurines. They were called Pocket Dragons.
	" Oh!  Viv would love these!," Filia giggled 
as she picked on up that was writing, " I'll get her 
this one!"
	Outside the shop, Val, Gaav and Zaha heard 
Filia squeal that 'Viv would love these', and had 
run into the store.
	" Pocket Dragons, huh?," Zaha asked.
	" It's kind of insulting," Val sighed as he 
looked at them.
	" Viv would like them though, right?," Gaav 
asked.
	" Oh yeah," Val laughed.  Five minutes later, 
each of the men had Viv crossed of their shopping 
lists, and were arguing over which mugs Filia would 
like best.

Across the mall . . .

	" Ohohohohohohohoho!," Naga laughed, " 
Just get your precious Zel boxers, Amelia!"
	" No!," Amelia yelled.  She was blushing 
furiously.
	" I know!  We can get him some wire cutters 
for his hair!," Martina said.
	" I bet he would enjoy a nice book," 
Zangulus offered, and began to wonder how he had 
gotten stuck with his wife and Amelia and Naga.
	" Great idea!," Amelia said as the three 
women proceeded to drag Zangulus into the 
bookstore.

In the bookstore . . .

	" Don't look now, but here comes Martina, 
Amelia, Naga and Zangulus," Rezo told Zel and 
Dynast.
	" I think Filia will like this book on antique 
pottery, right?," Dynast asked as he practically ran 
to the checkout line.  Zel and Rezo glanced at each 
other, and followed. 
	As soon as Dynast had paid for the book, 
the three guys left the bookstore and ran right into 
Lina, Zelas and Deep Sea, who were arguing over 
something.
" Dynast!," Zelas said as soon as she saw 
him, " Tell these two nitwits that gold is better then 
silver for jewelry!"
	" No way!  Rezo, tell her silver is better!," 
Deep Sea yelled.
	" The plastic jewelry that comes in different 
colors is the best!  You agree with me, right Zel!," 
Lina said.
	" Uh, you've lost me completely," Dynast 
said.
	" OH!  Just come on!," Zelas said as she, 
Lina, and Deep Sea Dolphin dragged Rezo, Dynast 
and Zel into one of the many accessory shops on 
the mall.

In Victoria's Secret . . .

	" Niisan, I think we should leave," Marron 
said as he tried to drag Carrot from the store.
	" Why?  I can get stuff for all the girls in 
here!," Carrot said with a huge grin on his face.
	" Yeah, and get beaten by their boyfriends or 
husbands, brother, and in a few cases, fathers." 
Gateau sighed.
	" None of this stuff comes in Lina's size," 
Gourry said, " Is this where Naga shops?"
	Marron and Gateau gave each other pained 
looks.  Marron grabbed his brother, and Gateau 
grabbed Gourry, then they dragged them out of the 
store.
	" DARLING!," Chocolate's voice rang out, 
" What were you doing in that store!"
	" Gourry-sama," Silpheil said, she was as 
red as a tomato.
	" Busted," Carrot sighed as Chocolate, Tira, 
Silpheil and Filia walked over.
	" It's not what it looks like!," Gateau yelled 
as Filia pulled out her mace.

In Dillards . . .

	" Xellos, what should I get Viv-kun?," 
Phibrizio whispered.
	" I don't know.  I bought her this cute little 
book on fairies, and a tee shirt with a dragon on it," 
Xellos whispered back.  Viv was only five feet 
away, looking threw a rack of leather trench coats 
and trying to find one that would fit Gaav - she 
wasn't having much success.
	" About how tall is Gaav?," she called back 
to them, " Seven foot?"
	" Seven feet and half an inch, actually," 
Xellos said.  Viv rolled her eyes and went back to 
looking.
	" She can't afford a leather trench coat!  She 
only had five hundred dollars to spend," Phibrizio 
said.
	" She has almost all her shopping done, 
Phibrizio.  She only has to get things for Gaav, 
Zaha, and Naga - the 'hard' people to buy for, in 
her own words," Xellos said.
	" Really?  She bought me something?," 
Phibrizio asked.
	" Several somethings, I think," Xellos said.
	" I need to find her the perfect gift!," 
Phibrizio vowed.
	" Oh!  Stupid store," Viv grumbled.
	" Don't have any, I take it," Xellos said.
	" Nope.  Hmm. . . maybe I should get him a 
weapon of some sort - come on, you two," Viv 
said as she walked off.
	" The man doesn't need anymore weapons 
Viv-kun!," Phibrizio complained.
	" Yeah, so what are you going to get him?," 
Viv asked.
	" I have to get the other Lords 
something!?!?!?," Phibrizio wailed.
	" Duh," Xellos said.  Viv sighed, this could 
be  very long Christmas.

At five . . . 

	" Everyone's here, right?," Viv asked.  The 
guys were sitting down, and looked exhausted.
	" I can't believe I just spent five hours 
shopping," Zaha said.
	" But you found almost everyone's gifts, 
right?," Lina pointed out.  Zaha nodded.  He was 
half asleep already.
	" Come on!  You guys can't be that tired!," 
Amelia said.
	" So, are we going to finish up shopping 
tomorrow?," Martina asked.
	" Sure," Viv nodded.
	" I got everyone something already," Deep 
Sea said.
	" Even the other Lords?," Xellos asked.  
Deep Sea started to laugh.
	" Heck no!  Why would I buy them 
anything!," she laughed.
	" I said everyone on the list, didn't I?," Viv 
asked.
	" Yeah, but-," Zelas started.
	" The other Lords are on your list, right?," 
Viv asked.
	" Yeah, but-," Dynast started.
	" No buts!  You have to buy them 
something!  I don't care what it is!  I don't care 
how you do it, but you're getting each other gifts!  
And nice gifts that you can actually use!  You have 
two days till Christmas!  Get busy, people!," Viv 
yelled, " Come on.  We need to get home and wrap 
theses presents."
	" Wow," Zaha sighed, " I'd get in the 
Christmas spirit really fast if I were you, other wise, 
she might get pissed. . ."
	" We hate each other!  Why should we buy 
each other stuff?," Gaav asked.
	" Do you honestly thing Viv buys all that 
stuff about us hating each other?," Phibrizio 
snorted, " She thinks that deep down, we actually 
give a care about each other."
	" We do?," Deep Sea blinked.
	" Apparently so," Dynast shrugged.
	" Personally, I think Viv's lost it," Gaav 
said.  Phibrizio hit him.
	" Personally, I don't understand where she 
even got the idea we care about each other!," 
Phibrizio said, " But the point is, she has it, and 
she's going to make us buy each other things and 
she's going to make us get Christmas spirit if it kills 
her, so just get over it!"
	" Will you five hurry up!," Filia called back 
over her shoulder.  The Lords ran to catch up with 
their friends.

Back home, later that evening . . .

	" Viv, there are going to be almost six 
hundred presents by the time Christmas rolls 
around.  It is physically impossible to cram them all 
under that tree!," Valgarv said.
	" I'll make them fit!," Viv yelled and 
continued to try and shove now wrapped presents 
under the tree.
	" Maybe we should just set up another tree 
in another room several other trees in several 
other rooms, actually, and split the presents up?," 
Zaha asked.
	" Great idea!," Viv said and tossed him a set 
of car keys, " Take the truck and go down to the 
tree lot get a few good trees.  Take a few others 
with you to help."
	" I'll go!," Amelia volunteered.
	" I think I'll go too!," Xellos grinned, " The 
truck is an extended cab, we'll all fit!"
	" Let's go then," Zaha said as they left.

An hour later . . .

	Amelia came running into the house, 
screaming, " VIV!!!!!!!!  Never let him drive again!  
He almost got us killed!!!!"
	" You killed, my dear, a car wreck wouldn't 
faze me much," Xellos said as he came in with 
Zaha, carrying a tree.
	" Put it in the dining room," Filia instructed.
	" How was Zaha's driving Xellos?," Viv 
demanded, her hands on her hips.
	" He drove like Gaav, you know, not 
slowing down for turns, flooring it when we hit a 
yellow light, going exactly the speed limit, maybe 
even a few miles per hour over going almost one 
hundred miles per hour on the freeway," Xellos 
continued to ramble on as he and Zaha went back 
outside for the second tree.
	" Ohhohohohoho!  What's wrong with 
that?," Naga asked, " Isn't that how all normal 
people drive?"
	" Thank you!," Gaav said, " See, Viv, I'm 
not the only 'maniac'!"
	Viv sighed and shook her head, " A very, 
very long Christmas."

The next day . . .

	" Okay, here's the deal.  Everyone has a few 
more people to get things for," Viv said, " We're 
going to the mall, and our goal is to come back 
with all our shopping done, okay."
	" Sounds good to me," Val said.  Everyone 
piled into the cars, and drove off.

Back at the mall . . . 

	Phibrizio wandered into a jewelry store.  
	" Can I help you?," the clerk asked 
Phibrizio.
	" Yeah, do you have anything with fish or 
wolves on it?," Phibrizio asked.  The clerk blinked 
but helped Phibrizio anyway.

In the bookstore . . .
	" Do you have anything on the North Pole, 
by any chance?," Zelas asked.

In the pet store . . .
	" You wouldn't happen to have any wolf 
puppies would you?," Dynast asked.
	" No sir."
	" Rats.  Oh well, where do you keep your 
fish?"

In the Gap . . . 
	" What's the trendiest style for women right 
now?," Deep Sea Dolphin asked an employee.

In a computer store . . . 
	" Yeah, I need a computer game that 
involves Hell somehow," Gaav said.

That afternoon . . . 

	" We're done shopping," Val said as he sat 
down.
	" Thank L-Sama," Rezo added.
	" Can you believe we managed to cram 
seven trees into this house?," Xellos asked.
	" It's gonna be hell picking this stuff up after 
Christmas," Zelgadis sighed.
	" Did you Lords manage to get each other 
gifts?," Marron asked.
	" We're still standing, aren't we?," Deep Sea 
giggled.
	Tira smiled, " It couldn't have been that hard 
to find things for each other."
	" It wasn't too bad, I supposes," Zelas said.
	" Now we have to stare at theses presents 
for a whole day," Lina sighed.
	" Viv said we get to open some of it 
tomorrow night so we won't be opening presents 
all day on Christmas," Phibrizio said.
	" What did you end up getting Viv?," 
Martina asked.  Phibrizio smiled.
	" Sore wa himitsu desu!"

Christmas . . .

	Surprisingly, everything went along rather 
smoothly.  The only big commotion was when 
Chocolate opened her gift from Gaav and chased 
him around the house yelling that is wasn't funny 
that he got her chocolate.  Everyone else thought it 
was funny.  Chocolate pouted for a few minutes, 
and Gaav gave her another gift.  This time, it was a 
silver necklace with a few charms on it.  Chocolate 
liked the necklace better, and ended up letting Lina 
and Gourry eat the chocolate.
	" Well, you Lords still have to open the gifts 
you got each other," Rezo said.  The Lords eyed 
the boxes (and each other, for that matter) warily.
	" Oh for L-Sama's sake!," Zel yelled, " It 
can't be that bad!"
	" You go first, Phibrizio," Zelas said.
	" Why me?," he asked.
	" Why don't you all go at once?," Silpheil 
suggested.  The Lords did as they were told.  The 
Lords ended up being quite happy with everything 
they got from each other, and refused to give in to 
the fact that they had Christmas spirit.

Later . . . 

	" Hey, Viv!," Phibrizio called from the den, 
Viv stepped into the doorway.
	" Hai?," she asked with a sniffle.  She hadn't 
gotten a gift from Phibrizio earlier, and didn't want 
to spoil everyone else's fun, so she hadn't said 
anything.
	" Well, first off, you're standing under the 
mistletoe, and you know what that means," 
Phibrizio smiled as he walked over to Viv, " and 
second off, you haven't opened your gift from me 
yet."
	" Phibrizio, you're not as evil as you think 
you are!," Viv giggled.  Then Phibrizio kissed her, 
and handed her a package.
	" Merry Christmas, Viv-kun."
	" Merry Christmas, Phibrizio-kun"
	" Viv?"
	" Hai?"
	" Don't tell Xellos about this, he'd never 
leave us alone about it," Phibrizio said.  Viv 
laughed.  From the shadows in the hallway, Xellos 
smiled.
	" I knew I was right," Xellos grinned, his 
trademark happy smile on his face.
THE END

*Till the next holiday, that is*